Production Assistant Career Paths: What Kind of Jobs Do You Get?

production assistant career paths

I know I’ve been neglecting this blog. My most humble apologies. Things have been crazy. Trying to find work. Moving into a new apartment. Trying to pay my bills. Surviving my insane move to LA. I’ve been here for a little over four months now, and I am slowly settling in. It’s been an adventure so far, and I promise I’ll continue my life updates shortly! But for now here is my once a month post… ūüôĀ

A reader has a question.

Reader Question:

Hey, I’m a senior year in college pursuing a degree in Communications with an emphasis in Entertainment Studies. As of now I have yet to decide which area of the Film Industry I’d like to work in and in research came across your blog & had a few questions if you don’t mind. First, I have many interests in the field & have been trying to find one to focus my efforts into. My front runner right now is Casting & I was wondering if you knew anything about how Casting is ran or any tips on getting into that area? My other question is about P.A.’s, & what are the different career paths they lead to? Also, how long do most people work as a P.A. before moving on to something else? Would you recommend working as a P.A.?
Thanks for your time!

-Keri

Thanks for the question, Keri!

I honestly don’t know much about the casting department. As I said in my last article on production assistants, you can be a set PA, and art PA, an office PA, a writer’s PA, and yes, even a casting PA. ¬†Just about every department can have a production assistant depending on how big the show is. If you want to get into casting, I suggest learning as much about it as possible and trying hard to get in contact with a casting director or agency and ask about becoming an assistant in that department. Again, it’s all about who you know. Make some contacts in that department and let everyone know what job you want, and eventually, someone will (hopefully) hire you. You have to be proactive.

Production Assistant Career Paths

What kind of production assistant career paths are out there? It all depends on what department YOU want to work in. If you want to be an AD (assistant director), you can work your ass off as a set production assistant and learn as much as possible about being an AD. Eventually, you can start getting jobs as a non-union 2nd 2nd AD, then a 2nd AD, then a 1st AD. Once you have enough days on set, you can get into the DGA and make the big bucks.

BEING A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT DOESN’T GUARANTEE YOU ANY JOB.

The production assistant career path is not like most career paths. There isn’t a standard promotion hierarchy. Being a production assistant helps you learn about the industry by working IN it. It’s WHAT you do WHILE working as a production assistant that counts. You want to work in the art department and become a prop (property) master or a set dresser? Meet the art department on set as a PA and let them know. Then work your ass off and stay in contact with them. Maybe they’ll call you to be an art PA. Then eventually you can start doing set dressing with them once you’ve learned enough about the art department by being a PA. Then you can use that experience and your new art contacts to try and get into IATSE, the union all the art people are in.

Do you want to be a grip? While working as a PA, talk to the grip guys and let them know. Do you want to work in camera? Meet camera people. A PA only becomes what they want to become, and what they work hard to become. It’s not a position that naturally gets promoted to another position.

HOW LONG DOES SOMEONE STAY A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT?

This also depends on the person. There are production assistants out there who are PAs FOREVER. You only get promoted when you actively try to learn other departments and move into another position. I’ve been working as a PA for four months, and every time I’m on set I let the 2nd AD know that I’ve run talent before and worked as a 2nd 2nd before, so they give me more responsibility. I’ve already done a non-union commercial out here as a 2nd AD. But if I want to join the DGA, I could be working as a PA or Non-Union AD for years before that happens. (I don’t want to be an AD).

THE SHORT ANSWER

While working as a PA, find what department you want to work in and let everyone know. Meet and stay in contact with as many people in that department until they give you a job.

WOULD I RECOMMEND WORKING AS A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT?

Only if you’re serious about working in the film/tv industry. Being a PA honestly sucks ass. It’s not a fun job. You’re on set before everyone else, and you’re the last to leave. You’re the last to eat lunch. You’re usually working nonstop for 12-16 hours. If you sit down, you get yelled at. Don’t dare use your phone while working. You are a machine that does what you’re told without question. The only reason I’m doing this is because I love the field I’m working in, and I have a strong desire to move up. Nobody likes being a PA, but it’s necessary to get where you want to go.

Now I have to go to bed because I have another 12 hour day tomorrow.

Until next time…

Reader Question: Moving to LA with Nothing

Right after I posted the last article about not having work for 4 weeks I got a gig. Holy shit did I get a gig. I ended up working 10am-6am straight. The lord answered my prayers for work… and then almost killed me. I’ll write more on that experience later. For now, I got a reader question.

Tiffany writes:

I am a PA in Detroit, who just happened to come across your blog. I’m very interested in your entries.. I see that you moved to LA, and said that you had the gas to get there, and your GPS. How’s it been going for you so far? Have you really had to sleep in your car? The past few months I’ve been trying to figure out a plan to get out of Michigan, and get to LA (I have a friend there that is taunting me to get there sooner, also). I am hoping my friend will be able set me up with a job when I get out there, but he’s not sure he will be able to.. Just wondering how realistic it is to head out there with practically nothing. Hope to hear back from you.

You’re right, I did basically come out here with nothing. Honestly I would not advise anyone to move to LA without a plan and some cash. I know that I came out here on a whim, and I’ve survived so far, but I knew that I had a couple couches to sleep on, and I had at least one person willing to set me up with some work. I came out here with about $1000. I spent roughly $300 on gas and a couple nights in a cheap hotel. The rest is already gone. Luckily I’ve gotten a few jobs since I arrived to help pay bills.

If you don’t have couches to sleep on, I would recommend saving up three months of living expenses minimum before you come out here. I’ve even heard of people not landing a paying gig for 6 months. It’s really hard getting work without knowing people.

How have I been surviving on such little work? I find places to sleep for free. I sleep on floors and couches. I eat PB&J and Ramen Noodles. I don’t drive unless I have to. I’ve been doing this for two months. Hopefully I will start getting enough work soon to be able to get a little more situated. Kiss your social life goodbye.

If you plan on coming out here without a lot of savings, be prepared to live like a bum. You have to be a little bit crazy to live this life. A ton of people come out here to do exactly what I am doing right now, most of them end up going back home.  As Josh Dobkin says,

It’s outlast and outshine out here. ¬†If you really want it bad enough, put the time in and don’t cave under the harsh environment like everyone else, you’ll rise above the muck.

It can be done. People do it every year. Most of them end up going home. If you want it bad enough, you’ll survive.

Being Busy Not Being Busy

I haven’t posted in a week. ¬†It’s because I’ve been on an extended period of downtime… and it sucks. It really blows. ¬†I’m one of those “work-a-holic” types, and my patience is being tested. I’m so restless. I sent out 26 resumes last week to countless black holes. An Assistant Editor job I was in the interview process for got put on indefinite hold. ¬†A Set PA gig on a commercial got bumped to next month. ¬†The people I have worked for in the past don’t have anything for me at this point in time. ¬†I needed to find SOMETHING to keep me busy, and feed the work-a-holic inside me — so I started another blog. ¬†I know, I should be writing my feature. ¬†I am doing that as well. That’s one good thing about downtime. ¬†I wrote a new horror logline, I’m developing a treatment for an adventure film, and still switching between writing two features. ¬†I know… I just need to finish one of them and get on with my life.

A couple friends and I have just launched√ā¬†a movie news blog. √ā¬†It keeps me busy while I’m not working and, an added plus to running a news site, now I know everything happening in the industry.

On a good note, I made a couple new contacts, had a phone interview with a company that may bring me some work, and talked to a 1st A.D. who added me to the interview rotation for a PA job on a TV show. Should hear back from her in about 3 weeks.  Fingers crossed.

Oh… and I discovered MineCraft, Portal 2, and I’ve done some catching up on Parks and Rec.

So I guess what I’m trying to say in this post is, USE YOUR DOWNTIME. Stay busy when you’re not busy, you never know where it might lead you.

Tips for a Production Assistant: Working for No Pay Part 2

“The Slave Ship” by J.M.W. Turner – The practice of eighteenth century slave traders who would throw the dead and dying slaves overboard during the middle passage in the Atlantic Ocean in order that they might claim the insurance for drowning.

I did a post a little while back about Working for No Pay. I still think this could benefit you IF you think there is an opportunity to work with great people who could possibly help you get PAID in the future. I did it, and it worked well for me. However, there are people in the industry who don’t give a shit about you. I was just on Mandy.com and I ran across a this:

All interested PA must reply with a resume and picture.

Are you kidding me? ¬†Since when does a Production Assistant need head shots? Oh yeah… since RACISM and SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

All PA’s must be available both dates and must possess the following qualities: Reliable, Dependable, Enthused with with productions, Must have transportation to and from the facilit, Ability to work well in a fast pace invironment

OK! Where to begin? ¬†First, notice their complete lack of ability in spelling words. Second, I’m not entirely sure there is a difference between being reliable and dependable. Third, even though these are traits that any good Production Assistant should have, I find it a little insulting to be demanding these things of someone that you’re NOT PAYING!

All PA’s will be required to sign an agreement confirming their committment to the project.

Yes. Let me get right on that. Idiot. Also, despite what you may think, not everyone jumps at the opportunity for IMDB credit and free food. Last time I checked, Nationwide wasn’t accepting leftover chocolate covered espresso beans or roasted seaweed snacks as payment for my premium car insurance.

Just be careful out there when accepting any lo/no/deferred jobs is all I’m trying to say.

Cold Calling for Work: Tips for a Production Assistant

I had three production assistant jobs last week. ¬†Two of them were for a¬†producer I did a free gig for (she’s incredible), and the other was a small commercial shoot, for a friend of a friend. ¬†How many shoots do I have this week? A big fat ZERO. ¬†I guess that’s just how the industry goes sometimes. ¬†Slammed one week, nothing the next. Now that I’m not working, what am I doing? Feverishly checking my inbox every 5 minutes and looking for more work.

SPEND THE TIME YOU’RE NOT WORKING LOOKING FOR WORK

As I sit down and write this, I’m already working on my third cup of coffee, and I’m taking a much-needed break from the horrible process of cold calling random productions. Before taking up this wretched task, I sent everyone that I worked with on my last job an email thanking them for the opportunity to work and letting them know what my availability is (which at the moment is, ANY TIME!!). ¬†So, now that I’m fresh out of contacts to email… here is where the cold calling begins.

COLD CALLING PRODUCTIONS

Basically, this process involves finding every single production in town (search for the UTA job list, use IMDB pro, etc), tracking down the number for each production company, calling said companies to ask for the “production office” phone number for the specific show, calling said “production office”, and asking if they’re currently hiring production assistants. If they say “yes”, or “i don’t know” then I get their black hole production office email address, which will more then likely never be checked, and I send my resume in.

I can’t help but feel like this is a lost cause. ¬†The people I’ve spoken with, always sound like they have no idea what is going on.

Me: ¬†“Hi, my name is _______. ¬†I was wondering if you were hiring PAs?”

Them: ¬†“Umm… I think we’re all staffed up, but you can send your resume to BLACKHOLEOFRESUMEDEATH@usuallygmail.com.”

So, who can help me in this situation?  Do I try and force the person on the phone to get me in contact with the 2nd A.D. or the production Coord? I need a cold calling master to train me in the ways of artificial sweetness and unflinching persuasion.

What’s the best method you’ve found for obtaining info about the productions in town and their respective office numbers? Right now, my process consists of vigorous google searching, followed by determining whether or not they’re shooting in LA, followed by IMDB Pro research, followed by telephoning the production company and asking for the show’s specific production office number.

In the meantime, I’ve created a google docs spreadsheet to keep track of every production I call, as well as; when I called, the office number and email, who I actually spoke with, and when I should follow up. This will help me keep track of the madness I am currently throwing myself into.

[Updated: 10/24/13]

I’m going through some of my old posts cause I’m sitting at the production office at 10:00 pm bored out of my mind and I couldn’t help but laugh at this post. I am now that person on the other end who sounds like they have no idea whats going on. I am that person who directs you to the black hole email address… and it really is that simple. Either I’m going to say we’re all crewed up, but feel free and send us your resume, or I’m going to say something along the lines of “I THINK we’re all crewed up” because I really don’t know the needs of people until the minute they’re brought to my attention. If someone is suddenly like “WE NEED A PA!” Then I’ll be like, “Great! I have a black hole email address filled with PA resumes.” Then I SCAN through them quickly, pick out some winners, and give them to whoever asked.

In short…. it’s VERY hard to get a PA job this way. And it never worked for me. If you want to know HOW to REALLY get a PA job. Check out the rest of my blog. Click on the “Tips for a PA” category on the side.

Weird being on the other end of things.

Also, check out:

Interview with Screenwriter Josh Dobkin

In January of 2009, Josh Dobkin and his writing partner Sean Wathen sold their spec script The Field to Stone Village Pictures.  I interviewed him briefly in 2010.  Here is some of his advice for an aspiring screenwriter.

What advice would you give an aspiring screenwriter that’s looking to get a job in the industry?

If you want to be next to writers, you need to be close to producers. ¬†And that means either being a PA on a production, or finding work at a production company… which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND! You want to be close to the gate keepers, because as a writer, that is KEY! ¬†Being where scripts are granted life, or executed to a slow miserable death, is where you want to be.

So, my first word of advice would be: go get a job or internship, at either a production company or management company… agency maybe, but unless you want to be a suit, pass on getting abused by the future “Ari Golds” of America.

And that of course, means moving to LA. ¬†So that is actually my first word of advice. But do it with a game plan. Save up some cash, visit, network online, all that jazz… and thennnnnn… make the move out here.

It will be several months before you land a paying gig in the industry, and this place is expensive to live.  So come out strapped with a couple thousand in the bankroll, and hit this town like a freaking maniac!

It will be hard, and will test your will to continue a path in the entertainment industry. If you can keep chugging ahead without having your hopes and dreams crushed, you’ll land a paying gig.

What is your writing process like?  Do you outline?

My writing parter and I outline a pretty detailed path before we start on the script. Some people do 60-90 page treatment… fuck that. ¬†Just write a script if you’re that thought out already. ¬†Put your beats down, what needs to happen, and who it needs to happen to, and go from there.

If you’re too detailed going in, I think the words seem stale. Probably because the writer has been writing the same shit in outline form, for 6 months. ¬†It feels good to feel the flow and unpredictable nature of a writer’s voice.

So I’ve written my spec. Now what?

I wish I had a magic answer to selling a script, but I sure as shit don’t. And no one does. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a fucking liar, or a thief, because more than likely, it’s one of those jerk-offs teaching a seminar for $200 that hasn’t sold shit!

WRITE YOUR ASS OFF! Thats the key to selling a script. You might hit a home run on your first bat… unlikely, but it happens. When you finally close the page on a script that you 100% think is rockstar solid, set it aside for at least 6 months, and write something else. ¬†And while your waiting for 6 months, start reading scripts of sold material…

NOW, come back to that script 6 months later, and tell me how good it is. If its still a rockstar, go solicit a manager/agent, and sell that fucker – ’cause you got a gem!

What is the most common mistake you see aspiring screenwriters make?

The most common mistake writers make is they don’t write, and when they do, it’s shit… and they think its GREAT. ¬†I’ll even admit to that fault. ¬†I just went back and read my first draft of The Field… and it BLOWS!

Any last advice?

It’s outlast and outshine out here. ¬†If you really want it bad enough, put the time in and don’t cave under the harsh environment like everyone else, you’ll rise above the muck. ¬†If you’re writing is solid enough, you’ll succeed.

So there you have it! Advice from a selling screenwriter. Take it to heart, and keep writing! You can find a more in-depth interview with Josh over at Done Deal Pro.

Production Assistant Clothing and Accessories

Production Assistant Clothing

[Post Updated August 8, 2018]

In this article, we’ll discuss production assistant clothing, accessories, and tools.

There are many different things people will tell you to bring to set as a production assistant. I’m just going to include the things that I have found useful.

What to Wear on Set as a Production Assistant? How to dress as a PA?

Before getting into the details, let’s answer this question. As a set production assistant, you are going to be running around all day. You’re going to get dirty. You’re going to sweat. You want to wear CASUAL/COMFORTABLE WORK CLOTHES. Jeans and a t-shirt, shorts and a t-shirt, comfortable shoes, hat and sunglasses. You can bring layers, like a long sleeve shirt. You can bring a jacket if you think it’s going to get cold. Are you shooting outside or on a stage? Stages can be cold, or hot, so it’s nice to bring options. See the “Wear Layers” section below. Basically, dress to move around and sweat. If you show up on set as a production assistant looking fancy, with loafers on, or open-toed shoes or sandels, you’re going to be a laughing stock.

If you’re working as an office production assistant.

Just wear casual office clothes. Again, nothing too fancy. Don’t wear a fucking suit and tie. You can wear a casual tie if you want… but I would advise against it. You’re just sitting at a desk all day, and occassionally running out to pick up lunches or office supplies. Jeans and a t-shirt or long-sleeve button up is fine. Unlike a set-pa, since you’re in an office setting, feel free to wear slightly nicer clothes and shoes. You won’t be running around and sweating as much. Office Casual.¬† Now onto some specifics.

The items listed below are more geared towards what you would wear or bring as a SET PA. As an OFFICE PA, really all you need is a car and a laptop.

PRODUCTION ASSISTANT CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES

  • GOOD SHOES. The number one most important piece of production assistant clothing. You will be running around all day, and your feet are going to hurt. Try to get some comfortable shoes. Spend the big bucks if you have to. ¬†Some brands that have been recommended to me are; Merrell and Keen. I wear Merrell, but it’s all about personal preference. ¬†I would also recommend getting some good gel Inserts as well. Also, make sure your shoes can breathe. Steel-toe is not necessary as a production assistant. [UPDATE: I pretty quickly switched from my Merrell’s to a pair of Nike Running Shoes. They were my favorite on-set shoes. They’ll run anywhere from $100 to $150… but they’re def worth it.¬† Plus they look good. Always good to get shoe compliments on set.] NEVER EVER BRING OPEN TOED SHOES OR SANDLES TO SET. SOME ASSISTANT DIRECTORS WILL SEND YOU HOME. BIG NO NO.
  • WEAR LAYERS. Always check your call sheet for weather conditions, but I still recommend wearing layered clothing. LA weather is a fickle bitch. It could be cold in the morning, hot during the day, and then cold at night. If you’re stuck standing outside making sure no weirdos get on set all night, and it’s chilly, you will want a jacket! If you know it’s going to be warm for the whole shoot, you can wear some cargo shorts (pockets are your friend), but I would still recommend jeans, or something similar. (I once did a shoot on the beach, didn’t know the shoot was going to go for 21 HOURS STRAIGHT. I wore shorts. It was FUCKING COLD at night. I was miserable. Never made that mistake again. I always brought some extra clothes and kept them in my car.)
  • KNIFE. Just in case a homeless person tries to rape you, or a bunch of little kids threaten to trample you because they heard Justin Bieber was on set. But more practically, someone will always need a knife. ¬†When that happens, you will always come to the rescue. [UPDATE: I always carried around a Husky Utility Knife.]
  • LIGHTER –¬†Even if you don’t smoke, someone else will! ¬†If they need a lighter, you’ll become a “Godsend.”
  • SHARPIE¬†—¬†Always carry a black sharpie on your person, at all times. You WILL use it.
  • EXTRA “BRICKS.” A “brick” is a walkie battery. Someone always needs one, and it’s your job as a PA to get it for them. It will also save you time, and energy, if you carry a couple fresh “bricks” on your belt. A good Assistant Director will always make you carry fresh bricks. You do NOT need to buy these. They are handed out at the AD trailer. You might be put in charge of handing them out.
  • HAT, SUNGLASSES, & SUNSCREEN. The sun is your enemy when you’re outside for 14 hours. Protect yourself! You don’t want some dermatologist scraping melanoma off your face with an exact-o-knife in 20 years.
  • PEN AND NOTEPAD. As a PA you will be going on runs. They will send you out to get coffee, lunch, ice, eight different packs of gum, vegan salad dressing, small and large water bottles, straw hats, spray on sunscreen, and just about anything else they can think of. Write this shit down because you will forget. (Or just use your phone.)
  • CORKSCREW. Whether it is attached to your knife or not, you will want to have one of these close by. Just the other day I had someone asking me for one because the talent wanted to drink a half a bottle of wine before her photo shoot. Just another way to come to the rescue of those in need. (You can keep stuff like this in your car, as long as crew parking isn’t a million miles away.)
  • GPS. Whether on your phone or standalone, you will want some sort of GPS. You will be sent on a lot of runs. You will find that the ability to quickly navigate to the closest¬†Trader Joe’s or Starbucks is instrumental in being a good PA. [UPDATE:¬†My GPS ended up breaking… which turned out to be a good thing because I learned how to drive around LA. But I also got a smartphone since I wrote this post… and that’s all you need. Get Waze or something.]
  • SCISSORS. Put these in your PA bag as well. I’ve found them useful.
  • DRUGS. Have a good assortment of Advil, Tylenol, etc. You cant always count on medics having these if you get a headache or sore muscles.

That’s all for now. Check back later for more advice and insights on production assistant clothing and accessories.

Any PA’s out there have some important production assistant clothing or accessories to add?

ALSO, CHECK THESE ARTICLES OUT:

Work for Free – Hard Work and No Pay | Tips for a Production Assistant

work for free

SHOULD YOU WORK FOR FREE AS A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT?

I’ve been in L.A. for a week now, and I’ve already finished my first gig as a set production assistant. It was two, hard, 14 hour days of running around and working my ass off! I didn’t get paid a penny. (But I got a lot of free food.) Luckily, my hard work paid off, and the producer said she would be calling me back for some PAID work very soon! (UPDATE: She ended up giving me $900 worth of work two weeks later. SCORE!)

My first bit of advice for those looking to break into the Industry as a Production Assistant: Work for Free.

Some people are EXTREMELY against working for free. I understand this mindset if you already have your foot in the door and have all the skills to become a paid worker. However, if you’re just starting out, and trying to break into a VERY competative field, it can be smart to work for free. Why? Because when it comes to being a production assistant, it’s all about making connections with people who can hire you. And you can’t make those connections unless you’re on set (or in the production office) meeting people!

Take any job, even if it’s for no pay, and work your ass off. ¬†People do notice. You wouldn’t believe how many lazy people are out there. Getting in is the hardest part. Once you’re in, if you work hard, you will get more work! If someone asks you where something is, don’t just tell them where it is, retrieve it for them! Always be on the lookout for someone who needs help, and periodically check-in with your supervisor to see if you can make their life more comfortable – in any way possible!

HOW TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON YOUR FIRST PRODUCTION ASSISTANT JOB (TO GET HIRED BACK!):

1. NO COMPLAINING!

Once you’re on set, you will quickly notice that every person doesn’t like someone else on set – and they ALL want to tell you about it! My advice: Listen to everyone, repeat nothing! By listening to everyone else bitch-and-moan, you quickly become a trusted confidant. ¬†If you end up bitching and moaning, you’ll just become one of those people who… well, bitches and moans.

2. BE FRIENDLY!

When there is downtime on set, engage people in conversation. Learn about everyone. Relationships are more important than “connections” so work on building them. ¬†People are more willing to hire someone they like to be around, instead of that guy who works really hard but is also a dick (and there is ALWAYS¬†one of those guys). ¬†Try to have at least one personal conversation, with everyone on set. ¬†It will come in handy later.

3. LEARN EVERYONE’S NAME!

Study the call sheet if you have to! This is really important. As a production assistant, you will be on the walkie a lot. It’s hard to call someone on the walkie when you don’t know their name. Plus, calling someone by their first name makes them feel like they’re important to you. Trust me; it goes a long way.

4. SEND FOLLOW UP EMAILS.

Bring a call sheet home and email everyone you worked with. Tell them you had a great time working with them, and that you hope you get to work with them again soon. Make the emails personal. Remember that one personal conversation I told you to have with everyone? ¬†Reference that conversation in your email. ¬†Tell them that you hope their cat starts to feel better, or whatever, and that if they ever need a hard worker, they shouldn’t hesitate to call. Attach your resume¬†for their convenience. People love this. Again, it’s all about building relationships.

These are four easy things you can do to help you get a paid job after working for free.

Have you ever worked for no pay? Did it pay off in the end?

My L.A. Road Trip

Saturday evening I said goodbye to my middle-of-nowhere Tennessee town, got into my fresh oil changed ’94 Honda Accord, and left my old life behind. Around 11:00 pm I started my road trip. Two days, seven states, and 2100 miles later… I am now officially in the greater Los Angeles area.

Besides the high gas prices, the trip couldn’t have gone more smoothly. I had no car problems, no traffic, and no tickets the entire way here. I got out of Tennessee and into Arkansas my first night, and stopped to get some sleep around 6:00 am. Woke up around 11:00 am and started again.

The worst part of the trip was driving through Oklahoma. Holy crap that place sucks! It was a one lane highway and road construction – all the way to Oklahoma City. After Oklahoma City, things got better. The roads cleared up, and the scenery was more comfortable on the eyes. I even got to see one of those giant wind turbine farms! The weather was beautiful, so the windows were down, and the music loud.

The drive through Texas was the color brown + cows. I have seen a lot of cows in my life. My house in Tennessee had cow fields on two sides. But I have NEVER seen more cows then I did in Texas! There must have been a million one field I saw! That’s all I can say about my Texas adventure. Although, the last stretch of Texas just before hitting New Mexico was kinda nice. It became more “deserty” and less “brown fields.” The sun was setting in front of me, the windows were down once again, and classic rock was blaring out of my speakers. It was about an hour of pure road trip perfection.

It started to get dark when I hit New Mexico. New Mexico and Nevada have 75 mph speed limits instead of 70 mph. That was a plus. Driving through Albuquerque at night was interesting. Everything in that city lights up in different colors. I felt like I was driving through Disney World/one giant Indian casino/modern art museum.

On the Indian note… starting in Oklahoma, and going all the way through Arizona, is nothing but Native American Tourists traps EVERYWHERE.

I stopped somewhere in New Mexico around 11:00 pm. It was snowing. It was over 90 degrees a couple of hours earlier in Texas, and now it was snowing in New Mexico. When I got to my room and looked in the mirror, my eyes were SUPER red. The hotel woman must have thought I was high as shit. I also think I was hallucinating a little. Driving long distances does weird things to the brain. I immediately took a hot shower and passed the fuck out. I slept for about 8 hours and then started again.

Arizona was an exciting drive. They have cool towns with names like, “Two Guns” and “Twin Arrows.” Stopped in Flagstaff for some gas. Held the door open for an old woman, and then continued on my way.¬†(OLD PEOPLE LOVE ARIZONA) It was quite chilly outside, but the scenery was pretty. The last stretch of Arizona featured a drastic elevation drop that was fun to speed down.

After driving through Arizona (forever) I finally hit California. As soon as I crossed the Cali/Arizona border, it felt like the temperature rose 30 degrees. Then the song Born to be Wild came on the radio. After I told the border guard that I wasn’t harboring any fruits or vegetables, I started driving through The Desert. The Mojave is a beautiful place. By now I had shed my high elevation driving clothes and was applying sunscreen to my left arm (It already had a nice sunburn from earlier Oklahoma driving). I set the cruise control to 80 mph (Cali goes back to 70 mph speed limits), and I don’t think I had to touch the brake or gas pedal for over an hour. Very beautiful, relaxing drive.

The relaxing desert drive continued until I started coming up on Barstow California… then it just got shitty, real fast. All of a sudden the hot desert wind didn’t feel right. It felt like I just walked into a hot port-o-potty. I paid for my $4-a-gallon gas and headed up towards Riverside/Loma Linda. And that’s where I am now, staying with some friends/family.

Overall, I’d say the trip was a positive experience, but one I wouldn’t like to do again anytime soon.

Keep checking back as I update you on my existence. I just became a small fish, in a vast pond.

What’s the most extended road trip you’ve taken?