Staff Writer Jerb… take 2.

Hello, long lost readers.

Someone told me to update this site. So that’s what I’m doing.

I wrote a post called “Staff Writer Job” or “Staff Writer Jerb” last year sometime. But then it disappeared. I don’t know if it was some server error. Or If some cache widget on this website that I haven’t updated in years is now deleting everything I post… we’ll see if this new post sticks around.

Anyways, the gist of the post was to inform you all (all seven of you) that I got a staff writer job on a real-life television show. It actually happened. I actually got paid to write something. Does that make me a writer now? Can I call myself that? I guess since I’m in the WGA it’s real… but it still feels weird. You know?  But listen, take this as a grain of hope in your otherwise dreary, fucked up lives. THIS IS PROOF YOU CAN FUCKING DO THIS. I came from BUMFUCK Tennessee. There were COWS — fucking COWS — on all sides of my house growing up. And roughly 7 or 8 (who’s counting) years after kissing that humidity laden shit-hole goodbye (I’ve actually come to miss it) and moving to LA, I got paid to write on a real-life television show. That was shown on a real-life TV channel. Millions, literally millions of people, watched the episode I wrote. And I got here through nothing but hard work and a little luck (that I set myself up for). So… all you haters can go jump off a bridge. It is possible. Just keep working. It can be done.

Can I get an amen?


I logged into the email account associated with this website to answer some old reader questions that I was sure had stacked up over the past year… only to learn that all reader questions have been getting sent into my SPAM folder and were automatically deleted after 30 days.

So that’s nice…

If you have any questions about writing, becoming a writer, breaking into the film industry, or whatever, just shoot me an email on the contact form, and I’ll try and get to them. I put some alerts on my phone, so I can catch your email before it goes into the spam folder… hopefully.

Maybe I’ll think of something to write here in the meantime (I always say that and it never happens)…

What’s happened since we last talked…


My stint as a staff writer is now over. So I’m on the hunt for more work. Writing as much as I can. Feels like being a PA all over again. Sitting alone… no prospects. Waiting for opportunity to strike.

I’ve delved into comic book writing as well… Which is a fun change of pace. Hopefully, that will turn into something positive. Or not.

Moving from a struggling assistant to a struggling writer has taught me one thing… not to expect anything. If something happens, it happens. That doesn’t mean I’m not going work hard. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep writing my ass off… it just means… I have now started looking at it like… well, like a job. My job is to create shit in a vacuum and then send it out and hope someone likes it. I guess the difference is I’m not expecting anyone to like it anymore. I think, if anything, I now expect everyone to hate it. So when someone does like it, it’s sort of a surprise. I guess it’s some sort of coping mechanism.

A quote I read recently in an interview with Noah Hawley keeps coming back to me. Something about… 10 people turned down his script, so it was a bad script, but then the 11th person bought his script, so all of a sudden it was a good script. I feel like that quote pretty much sums up this industry. Nothing means anything. Nobody knows anything. It’s just a bunch of monkeys living in fear, throwing shit at the walls to see what sticks. I just need to find that one monkey who likes the smell of my shit and thinks it’s sticky enough for them.

My credit card was stolen again. It keeps happening. It’s like the 5th time in 2 years. I wonder if there is a hacker on my computer reading this right now.

Are blogs even a thing anymore? They seem so … archaic … in this age of Twitter and Podcasts. Who reads this website? Who reads any website? Don’t we just read headlines now?

They should make a PRINT newspaper that is just the headlines. No content.

Has anyone who reads this website actually gotten a job using my advice? If so, let me know.

Anyway. Time to clock out. Time to lock up. Time to jump on the 10 freeway for an hour. You know what would be nice? If like… half the people in LA just disappeared. Can there be like… A Leftovers type event in LA? Except… I want to be one of the people taken to the other side — wherever the other 1% or 10% or whatever percent went. Where is the other side anyway? Canada?



3 Replies to “Staff Writer Jerb… take 2.”

  1. You don’t know me but congrats on your new job. Seems like a cool job (even though my career is on the other side of the lake from yours) and I wish you well in it.

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