Tag Archives: Dark Comedy

Midpoint Land and Fuck March.

I’ve had Final Draft open all day and literally haven’t written a god damn word. I open up the program periodically (between aimlessly scrolling thorough my Facebook feed and browsing Reddit until my eyes bleed) hoping that the exact moment my screenplay pops up the gods of wit and humor will shove a lightening bolt up my ass and my mind will spew greatness all over the place. It hasn’t happened yet, so now I’m writing on this blog for the sole purpose of not going completely insane.

Remember back when I said I hope March doesn’t end up being a bad month? Well let me break it down for you. March has been fucking horrible. I’ve worked 3 out of 19 days. I thought this was the busy time of the year? Last month, in fucking February — the shortest month of the year — I was working a feature pulling out 6 day weeks and turning down multiple jobs. Who killed all the job fairies? Work for me is like having a girlfriend. When you’re single, no one fucking cares. When you’re dating, every girl and her mother is checkin’ you out with husky and buttery eyes.

The only good part of not working is the fact that I get so incredibly bored (yesterday I watched the ENTIRE season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, wtf) I start doing crazy things like actually working on my screenplay. Which so far has got me to churn out a wonderful 49 pages.  *Pauses and sips cold coffee out of a bowl* That’s right. I started drinking coffee out of bowls. I’m just going to blame it on Food + Lab WeHo. I know, it’s kinda weird at first. You’re all like “Coffee in a bowl? How do I drink this?” You drink it like soup without a spoon, and it’s awesome. Maybe when I ate at Food Lab they were just being lazy and ran out of mugs, I don’t know. But I feel like this is what it must have felt like to discover the wheel. Maybe not as important, but somewhere in the same realm of awesome. Now I’m rambling all because I —

— am hitting midpoint land in my screenplay and am dreading writing the next scene. There. I said it. I enjoy writing scenes that have to do with people hunting zombies in the woods, or the awkward hilarity that ensues when a couple must break into a morgue to steal a dead lady’s finger. But I have now come to the point in this particular story where my lead obtains a false victory by falling in love, exploring new freedom, and doing what every modern-day couple does on their first date — get trashed off wine and have wild sex. My whole screenplay so far has mostly just been negativity and crazy shit. Now I actually have to give my lead a decent time and I can’t do it. If I can enjoy the movie Lost in Translation, I can write a funny yet meaningful date scene.  So. This is what I’m going to do.

JUST FUCKING WRITE IT.

Beware The Ides of March!

Three posts in one day! NO WAYOMG.

No idea why I named this post that. I hope bad things aren’t going to happen. I definitely hope I don’t get stabbed 23 times. That would just put a real downer on the beginning of 2012. Even getting stabbed 1 time would pretty much be horrible.

I know I said I would post what I decided to write soon after the holidays. Unfortunately January became a freak out month cause I couldn’t find any work. But I survived again… somehow. Then in February something amazing happened. I worked my first feature! 18 days of ass busting work. Three 6-day weeks consisting of about 75 hours of work per week. It was hell, and I was so loving it. My AD’s were basically training me to be a PA god… and I learned a whole lot. I’m sure I have material for more PA articles now

I came out here to work on features… and I definitely want to work another one. The entire crew was amazing… which is rare. There are usually those one or two people you wish would die in a car wreck on the way to work one morning… Not on this feature. Everyone was a joy. Anyway… that is over now… and the money is almost gone already. Time to look for more work.

On a good note I had some time to really think about writing, and I’ve decided to start working on a dark comedy I’ve been brewing for a while. The feature I worked on was low budget. It probably was in the $1Mil range. I got to see what one could do with a million dollars. Most of the features I’ve been brewing would cost a shit load of money to produce — not usually a good way to break into the industry as a new writer. So I’ve decided to get this dark comedy finished because:

  • It doesn’t have many lead actors
  • It doesn’t have many locations
  • It doesn’t have any HUGE set pieces
  • It could probably be shot low budget and still be awesome.

I feel something like this could sell way easier than my screenplay about a futuristic medieval zombie apocalypse, or the earth building a spaceship to meet the source of an alien message. Even though my heart is set on epic… I need to get to that point somehow. So I’m going to try and be epically low budget out of the gate. I could be going at this completely wrong, but it’s where my head is at.

I hit my first act break today and magically landed right on page 25. That is pretty much an awesome coincidence. I’m writing a vomit draft… so it’s nothing but a crazy person’s thoughts on paper at this point… and the first act break still landed on 25. That makes me happy. I’m going the right direction with this shit, I can feel it.

I’ve been in a caffeine induced haze all day playing make believe and talking with people that don’t exist. Thus the life of a writer. So now I’m going to drink a lot of beer.

I’ll let you know how this venture goes someday in the future. Until then… beware the ides of March!!!