Crazy Pills

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I sometimes just visit this site and stare at it. I want to write a post, I’m just not exactly sure what to write about. I figure it’s been a while since I posted something… so I’m just going to start writing and we’ll see where it goes. If there is anything specific you’d like me to write about — see that “ask me a question” tab at the top?

It seems I tend to write posts when I’m angry or irritated. I guess that’s because I find writing as a sort of release. If I’m upset at something, it helps to write about how I feel. After I’m done writing about whatever it is that’s bothering me — the tension seems to go away. Whether it’s about bitchy people, ignorant people, or what not to put on a fucking resume, I amuse myself by turning my feelings into witticisms… or at least what I think are witticisms.  If I can take something really fucking irritating or depressing and make myself laugh by writing about it… it’s almost like therapy. (But I’ve never been to therapy, so how the fuck would I know. )

I guess that’s called passion. Writing about something that deeply moves you. Whether it’s hate, love, or depression. These are the emotions that fuel all types of art. Most of the time I guess I don’t feel strongly about anything… so I don’t find there is really anything to write about… but as proof of me writing this —  if you just start writing the words seem to come out anyway.

The new job is going well. I’m an assistant at a very small production company with a project going through post. I kind of feel like I’m not doing enough. I’ve been busting ass in production for so long… give me an hour of no responsibility and I start getting paranoid that I’m not doing my job correctly. I think the phone rings about twice a day.  Which I answer IMMEDIATELY … of course. I get mail. Go on random runs. (The other day I picked up a shit ton of cat food and returned some pillows.) I clean and organize things… One upside to the lack of my current responsibility is the time to write. This morning I got into the office, made coffee, and wrote for 2.5 hours without interruption before going on my first chore for the day. I call that a Tuesday success story.

I’ve started taking my first steps into the rewriting phase of this pilot. I finished it — so that’s good. But I’m not happy with it. I’m about half way through turning my “vomit” draft into something I would actually let someone else read for notes.  My first step was to just diarrhea creative thought onto the page in order to get through scenes and finish the damn thing. Now I’m basically just starting from the beginning and rewriting every sentence keeping in mind that someone else has to read and understand what the hell any of it means.  Of course, in going through it again, I see things that aren’t working. Scenes that need major improvement. Characters that make no sense. Horribly cheesy dialogue.  So as I nitpick my way through I’m trying to fix most of these problems…. at least temporarily. After I get all they way through, I’m going to give it one more once over just to see if it flows decent enough… then I’ll hand it over to my writing partner and have him do a pass. After he’s done,  I’ll read it and we’ll have a creative meeting and go from there.

I need to get this shit done fast. I’ve been reading deadline (which, if you work in the industry you should probably scan through the headlines on deadline at least 2-3 times a day) and a few shows are being announced with similar themes to the show I’m working on. It doesn’t necessarily scare me… as I feel these shows are paving the way for the show I’m working on… but I feel like a window might be opening that I want to jump through before it snaps back shut. Which makes me think, why the hell am I writing THIS when I could be working on my pilot.

In other news I’m still talking to miss orlando.  Which is just as depressing as it sounds. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

2 thoughts on “Crazy Pills”

  1. Yeah, first drafts are about finding out what you want to write, what you’ve got, and then you have subsequent drafts to make it pretty.

    It’s always weird to be in an office when you’re used to the set. Glad it’s giving you a chance to write and to refresh yourself, and still do what they need you to do.

    My 2014 is starting well– got a grant for my new play and just landed a novella and a book contract. It means rearranging some things, but for the best possible reason!
    Happy 2014!

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